Showing posts with label Self-Worth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Worth. Show all posts

Friday, June 5, 2015

Anne & Joe

          These last few weeks, I have been interviewing residents at the retirement home where I work, seeking to know their stories. It has been a privilege to hear each story, and a few residents have given me written permission to share their stories with all of you. This is an exercise in writing for me - if you have any questions, comments, or critiques, please let me know!


            1930. Life was difficult in Brooklyn, New York in the depth of the depression, but his mother made ends meet. She worked hard to support her young son after his father left her for other women. They never experienced the hardest parts of the depression, certainly not to the extent that the folks in Oklahoma and other places did, but they knew hardship all the same.
            As Joe got older, opportunities opened up for him. He attended a military school in West Virginia for a few years in the late 30s-early 40s. Joe’s mother remarried, and she, Warren, and Joe moved to Montreal before Joe graduated high school. While they were living there, WWII broke out. Joe returned to the states, to Burlington, Vermont, to complete school before enlisting in the Army. He went through basic training in Florida in 1944 and then was shipped overseas where he served in Europe for 6 months, in the 10th Armored Division right after the Battle of the Bulge. “Boy, was I lucky to miss that,” he says, looking back.
            Soon after he finished his service in the military, Joe’s mother died. He returned for her funeral and then sought an education. Although he had been considering becoming a doctor or dentist, he instead began college in Vermont, studying agriculture and economics, and ended up in the insurance business, a job that took him around the country. He met a girl and got married, had two boys and one girl. 25 years later, he and his wife divorced, and he subsequently began night school at Fort Steilacoom Community College. It was at night school that he met Anne.

            1936. She was grateful for the bed and food the nuns offered her. Goodness knows she was better off here in the convent than she had been at her aunt’s house where she was just another mouth to feed.  She remembers with a grimace the clothing lines and the fact that they could never afford new shoes, although the soles were loose on her old ones, and all that just a year ago. At the age of 12, one year prior, she had run away to her 6th grade teacher at the Chicago, Illinois convent, where she would be taken care of for the remainder of the depression era. Although her cousins, who also attended school at the convent, told her that her aunt wanted her to return, her aunt held no legal authority over her, so she remained at the convent.
            Anne’s parents had immigrated to the US from Croatia in the early-mid 1900s, just before the depression struck. When Anne was 6, her mother passed away. Although she was young, Anne holds on to memories of her loving mother, especially her beautiful blue dress with the gold fleur-de-lis design, which she wore to church ever morning. Her father, unable to care for her, gave Anne to his sister in Chicago, Illinois. Anne attended school at the local convent, where she lived in her later schooling years. When she started high school, she decided she wanted to become a nun and was sent to the motherhouse in Colorado for two years. During her sophomore year, she changed her mind and came back to Chicago. In high school, she met her future husband. She wasn’t everything he hoped she would be, so she changed for him and compromised herself, something she regrets to this day.  He didn’t believe in the education of women, so she finished high school and stopped attending school. She had dreamed of a man of high ideals, with a love of his faith, and a positive outlook, but settled for what she had instead. Anne helped put him through med school and moved to Tacoma for his internship. During their marriage, he had affairs, and, after 8 children, they were divorced.
            After the divorce, she went back to school at Fort Steilacoom Community College to pursue her dream of becoming educated and here she met Joe.

      It was in a Human Potential Class that Anne and Joe met. This was a class that impacted both of them deeply, focusing on Personal Responsibility and Emotional Development, a phrase they both still remember 40 years later. Outside of Human Potential, however, it was their shared loved for the Lord that brought and kept them together. The Lord has never abandoned them, and, in Anne’s words, the last 39 years have been a fairytale. They traveled together, to Europe twice and to other places. Anne went to Europe twice more on her own, to discover her family’s roots in Croatia. She was searching for herself and she found it in the town where she was immediately recognized as her mother’s daughter. Walking along a street in Kaštela, a woman called out “You’re Maria’s daughter!” and Anne knew she had found something special. Her self-esteem had been knocked down to zero after her divorce, and between Human Potential, Joe, Kaštela, and the Lord’s grace, she began to be built back up. Joe and Anne continued their education, Anne continuing on to Evergreen Community College. Anne focused on the three children she still had at home, co-owned a bookstore, and then got into real estate. Joe can be described as a poet, painter, and romantic.
      Now, they sit across from me, both in their rocking chairs, both smiling brightly. For the last several months, they have never failed to inform me that they are praying for me. They ask after my schooling and my plans for the future, and I am honored that they have taken such an interest in me.

      Joe’s words to me: “You’re doing okay. You have your life figured out and the smarts to pursue it. Not many have that.”

      Anne’s words to me: “Don’t ever compromise yourself; remain true to you. Retain your individuality.”

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Quotes, Cliches, and Profound Short Sentences

     I really like all of the above. I have a Pinterest board entitled "Truth & Beauty & Hilarity" full of stuff that makes me nod, smile, or laugh (respectively, or all at once) and a large portion of it has pictures such as the following:

You are.;)Don't shine so others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him. Who gets the glory?.Psalm 121My dad taught me to appreciate silence when I was just a little girl....thanks, Dad!

     These are intermixed with pieces of art, some memes, things that bring back memories, stunning photographs of spectacular moments or places of beauty...
Future generations won’t understand. Why was this always so loud!Crazy Minions: | The 50 Most Shared Facebook Posts Of 2014Oil Landscapes Transformed into Mosaics of Color by Erin Hanson  http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2014/04/oil-landscapes-transformed-into-mosaics-of-color-by-erin-hanson/Dancing with Daddyjellyfish
     In fact, if you look at that Pinterest board, you can get a pretty good idea of what makes me happy, brings me hope, inspires me. Take that in combination with this blog, my pictures, my journal, etc, and I'm collecting/creating a wealth of information that describes who I am. History tangent: one of the biggest challenges in history is that commoners left little to no evidence of what their daily life looked like. Not so today, with education and access to the Internet and so forth. It will be interesting studying this time period, the Age of Information, in the future: will there be too many sources?  How will they sort through them all?
     Anyway, that said (I'd been reflecting on that wealth-of-information tangent for a while, but didn't really have enough of a reflection to put it in a full post) and back to my original topic: I like collecting adages. They speak to me, and I can easily memorize them and pull them up when I need a reminder.  Bible verses are part of my collection, of course, but quotes from famous people and thoughts from the anonymous internet user are included as well.  So are cliches - I truly believe "There's no time like the present. You can't please everyone. Love is blind. Good things come to those who wait," - Grandma Joy. I've been collecting adages as long as I remember: Mom's been quoting Einstein's "Don't let school get in the way of your education" since I was small, I take note of clever or profound things my teachers say, such as "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember the fire department usually uses water," and I write down passages from books that I think are especially meaningful. I come up with my own adages (which I guess are essentially short reflections), too:

"Enjoy today. Remember the big picture. Live for God."
"There will always be those who are better than me, but that does not stop me from being my best."
"Laugh at the stupid stuff."
"Take life one day at a time."
"Lie in the sun, delight in silence, be lazy sometimes, sing loud with the windows down."
"Accept the simple, the imperfect, the abnormal, the normal."
"Find a balance between you, God, and other people. What others say about you is worth listening to, but it does not define you. Your identity is in God, in who He has made you and is making you."
"Be slow to negativity and judgementalism; trust, seek understanding, and love at all times."
"If there isn't a word for what you're trying to say, make one up."

     All of these are pieces of advice that I'm constantly trying to live by. I don't always manage, of course; in fact, I often fail. But then I pick myself back up and try again tomorrow. Life and happiness and obedience to God is a journey of forming habits and laughing at yourself and constantly thanking God for His mercy and grace and forgiveness. One moment/day/year at a time.

     .

Saturday, January 3, 2015

The Average American

According to the New Strategist, the Average American...

  • makes $735/week
  • has a landline telephone
  • says he/she is in very good or excellent health
  • is overweight
  • believes the effects of global warming have already begun or soon will 
  • is currently married
  • lives in one of the top 50 metropolitan areas
  • lives in a house built before 1975
  • watches 2 hours and 49 minutes of television a day
  • drinks alcohol regularly
  • pays his/her credit card bill in full each month
  • has been to college, but does not have a college degree
  • believes in God without a doubt 
  • favors the death penalty
  • believes in evolution
  • wants the government to spend more on education, health care, and the environment
  • does not know which political party controls the House of Representatives
  • The Average American Household contains 2.6 people, owns 2.28 vehicles, 1.6 dogs, 2.1 cats, and 2.3 birds, and is $75,600 in debt (including the mortgage).
  • The Average American Man, between the ages of 30-39, has black hair and a BMI of 29 at 5'9".
  • The Average American Woman, between the ages of 30 and 39, has brown hair and a BMI of 26.4 at 5'4".
     Right. Enough statistics.  You don't even have to read all of those to see where I might be going with this post. I fit... let me count... 3.5 of those. That's 17.5% if you want another statistic. No, I didn't just choose statistics that don't match me. I guess I'm not an Average American. In fact, I don't think I know a single Average American. That's interesting, given those facts are based on us.  Where are all the Average Americans described above? I daresay nowhere.
     Each person is an individual.  Each person has passions and hobbies, history and personality.  That is something that no statistic can capture.  Yes, 52% of the population might enjoy scrapbooking (I'm making that up), and that means the enjoyment of scrapbooking is a trait of the Average American, but even that number means very little. One person's scrapbook looks completely different from another person's because each scrapbook reflects the individual who spent time creating it. 
     The Average American is a bunch of numbers that eliminate our uniqueness. Whatever it is that makes me, me, can't be captured in the Average American because it's me, and I'm not Average.  I'm more than Average.  Yet... we still seem to be chasing after this American Dream of keeping up with the Average American (commonly named Jones).  We want to fit in, to be like everyone else. Everyone else, in my opinion, is boring, impossible, and even contradictory. 
     God created each and every one of us. We simply have to look around at creation to see that He has an abundance of creativity, and He applied that creativity to us as well. Psalm 139:13-14 is an oft-quoted passage, but it comes from one of my favorite Psalms and is beautiful each and every time it is used: 
For You formed my inward parts; 
You knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are Your works;
my soul knows it very well. 

     You are not average. You are uniquely, wonderfully you, and you are loved by the One who created you as an individual. 

     Now, I do want to note that I wrote this Average American post from an American point of view mostly because it was easiest to find American statistics. The same message applies, though, to South Africans to Germans to Venezuelans to Malaysians and to any person anywhere.


References:
https://www.avma.org/KB/Resources/Statistics/Pages/Market-research-statistics-US-pet-ownership.aspx
http://press.experian.com/United-States/Press-Release/new-study-shows-multiple-cars-are-king-in-american-households.aspx
http://www.census.gov/prod/2013pubs/p20-570.pdf
http://www.newstrategist.com/store/index.cfm/feature/57_15/50-facts-about-the-average-american.cfm

No, I'm not going to write them up in MLA format. 


Monday, August 25, 2014

Talking To My Phone

     I've noticed lately a habit that I don't like.  It's a common habit, I think, resulting in some unseemly conduct, especially among younger generations.  I have termed this habit "Talking To My Phone."  When I'm texting someone, or messaging them, or commenting on something, I've taken to simply talking, rather than talking to him or her, to that person specifically
     Now, this does mean each of my messages very accurately conveys my thoughts and, in a way, my tone of thinking.  Actually, it's very similar to the way I write on this blog.  For other people, who perhaps don't have a cordial "tone" of thought, this may produce rather nastier texts.  I think this is why we're always warned to conduct deep conversations, or conversations that are possibly hurtful, in person, because it is so much easier to say rude things over the internet.  Rude messages, in my opinion, arise from people not censoring their thoughts as they would in person; people don't censor as they would in person because they aren't in person, they're talking to their phones.
     However, I would go even farther than "make sure you don't say rude things over the internet."  I would say we need to consider how we're talking to each person using our electronic devices, even when the conversation is light and pleasant.  When we speak in person, we alter our behaviours depending on the other person's personality.  Not that we wear masks, simply that we may be more talkative with one person, more reserved with another.  Yet this gets lost when we aren't face to face.  Perhaps that's a good thing - we get to see different sides of one another - but I think it takes with it some of the individuality of each relationship.  
     I've decided to try (no gaurantee on success, this is only a few weeks old) to imagine each person as I text him or her.  I can often visualise a person's facial expressions, even call to mind what someone would sound like in speaking the words of the message.  When I remember to do this, it has, thus far, made a significant difference in my final sent message.  Perhaps it's also because I'm taking more time to devise each text, but I think I'm responding more to the person than to the words on my phone.  And I think that's a good thing. 

Monday, July 21, 2014

An Excuse of a Mission Field

     How many times has someone told you, "you are in a mission field, wherever you are."  True.  God puts us in specific places with a purpose in mind, and we don't have to travel to the ends of the Earth to find a mission field.  So... we're missionaries.  Now tell me: why do we not act as such?  On a daily basis, the ones we call missionaries, those who have given up a comfortable home life in the country of their birth, act differently than we do.  They struggle.  They serve.  They share.  They step out of their comfort zones.  Yes, they eat, sleep, and laugh the same as we do, but they have a purpose, an intention of being a missionary.
     When you're not a labeled missionary, different things occupy your life.  You go to school, you work your job, you raise your kids, you socialize with friends.  But all of these are part of the labeled missionary's life, too.  So it's not that we're being missionaries in a part of the world that's closer to home, it's just that we're being in a different part of the world; I think we're missing something.  When was the last time you picked up a stranger who was walking down the road, no matter how little room you had in your car?  When was the last time you intentionally served everyone around you, every day?  When was the last time you... shared your faith, even if through actions more than words?
     We shouldn't use "we're in a mission field" as an excuse to continue with our relatively comfortable, suburban lives.  We should be the missionaries we are called to be.

 "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you...you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth." 
Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8


Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Shapes and sizes, silver and gold

     Lots of teachers diss cliches, but I think there's value in them. Over-usage might be a problem, but when a certain phrase has been around long enough, it starts to gather connotations, same as a word would. So sometimes cliches more accurately express a concept better than a long train of words meticulously pieced together. That's not really what this post is about, but I'm about to use a couple cliches and now you won't immediately dismiss my thoughts because I'm not being "original" enough.  Although I'm sure you wouldn't have done that anyway.
     Friendships come in many different shapes and sizes; "one is silver and the other's gold"; opposites attract?  No, that last one probably doesn't hit the nail on the head.  I've had many friends and many chances to see how those friendships last through different circumstances and this has caused me to reflect on those different types of relationships.

  •      Your childhood best friend whom you gradually drift away from.
  •      The relationship which is based mostly off of joking, silliness, and plans for the next moment of laughter.
  •      A friend who you knew for two years, who you saw every day in school, who you were close with, but with whom you won't stay in touch when you leave the school.
  •      The friend you met when you were young, who has been through everything with you, who you consider as close as a sibling. Who you know, no matter how often you talk, you will always consider your best friend.
  •      A person you sat next to for one class and got along well with, but you won't talk once the class is over.
  •     One you see from a distance and put on a pedestal. You wish to be friends, but never have the guts to talk to that person. Or you do talk, but it's limited because you see the person so far above you.
  •      The chance meeting of someone who you can look up to but are equal to, you understand each other in almost every way and can always be supportive of each other.  You stay in touch, but no matter how infrequently you talk, you pick up right where you left off and nothing has changed. You can see being friends for a very long time.
  •      A friend you aren't extremely close with, but when you leave you stay in touch constantly.
  •      Your everyday friends who you easily laugh with and chat with and share experiences with. You look up to them in varying degrees for various reasons and care about their joys and frustrations.
     I obviously didn't include names, and some of these are more general, others more specific.  I didn't include every relationship I have - that would be too many. Maybe you can identify with these or identify who I'm describing.  Maybe not.  The pictures don't match up, if you're thinking of using that as a clue.  I don't think you should even try to match people with descriptions.  And this isn't a scientifically researched list of carefully evaluated relationship types, this is just my reflections. There are so many types of friends, depending on the people interacting and the environment they're in.  Each relationship is as unique as the people forming it.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Too Highly

     I am prideful. Coming from that, I am perfectionistic, over-achieving, and sometimes vain.  As a result of these, especially the first two, I am confident and fairly successful.  Those might be looked at as positive characteristics, but I struggle with humility, am quick to judge a poor performance of myself or others, and consider myself entitled to high achievements. Lo and behold: I'm human. 
     I'm not proud of this (not proud of my pride?), but it will probably be a lifelong fight to overcome myself, something I know I'll only ever be able to accomplish by God's grace.  I find it ironic that I tend to be good at almost everything I put my mind to, that this has caused me to be proud, and that this pride is what causes me to be bad at something: humility.  
     Now, I said almost everything. I am capable of everything to some extent, but I definitely have some places where I don't have an inborn talent. For example, my sister, Teresa, is a way better athlete than I am. She does the workout videos with Dad and she can run a mile a lot faster than I can and she excels at soccer and track and netball. It always frustrates me when something reminds me that she's more athletic than me because I wish I could be like her, but I can't.  Another example is music; my lack of the ability to play an instrument doesn't cause as much frustration as sports do, maybe because I can sing, but it's still an area in which I'm not especially talented. I watch Matt play the guitar and I'm fascinated by the movement of his fingers, or another friend will talk about music theory and playing classical piano and most of what he says goes straight over my head.  I'm just not as strong in these fields as in others. 
     My frustration is the wrong reaction. Multiple places in the Bible it says the body is made up of many parts, and each has its own function. In Romans 12 it says
Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. (Romans 12:3-5, NLT, biblegateway.com)
     Um, message from the Lord to me at all? This has really been striking me as I've read through and memorized Romans this year for Bible Quizzing. "Don't think more highly of myself than I ought to think." A better reaction would be to support those who have talents different than mine and cheerfully accept help when they offer. 


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Different Snapping Points

     I really like colors. And certain designs.  And for things to flow a certain way.  And I've realized that whenever I get an idea for a piece of clothing or a pair of earrings or some other accessory,  the designers who get paid all the money haven't yet been inspired to create my idea. Come, now, that's your job! No, I'm kidding,  they have lots of other ideas, but this lack of my ideas being produced has led me to learn to sketch and sew and bead. I've done my own dresses and I bead quite regularly (also brought on by my inability to wear any metal but gold), I just haven't figured ot the shoe bit yet. I'll get there... maybe. I'm not aiming to be a fashion designer at all, I don't get inspirations that regularly,  I just know how to create and fulfill my dreamed up items.  
Anyway, one of my more recent projects, since I started driving, was to create a key chain for my keys. I knew I needed something long, something that would stand out, but I didn't feel like spending money. So... I created it. A bunch of colorful, textured, unique accent beads, all strung onto a wire and attached to my key chain. Pretty!
It didn't last very long before that wire snapped and all the beads tumbled into the cracks and crevices of my car. Okay. I can solve this. Three wires! After all, three cords cannot be broken, right? That lasted about twice as long. Two of the wires snapped, and I set the beads aside for a couple weeks until I could have time to repair it. 
This time, I've used a single wire and a single piece of string. Alright, I've not been using it for as long as the other two took to break yet but I have my hopes up. It got me thinking... when it's three wires, those wires will all snap under the same circumstances. Bend the whole thing too hard, and it all breaks. String,  on the other hand, breaks when it is continuously rubbed.  So if the wire is combined with the string, they'll be stronger together both because they are two and because they are different. 
Same thing works with people. Put two people who work the same way and put them both in a difficult situation, they'll both break at the same time. But put two differently-minded people together, and they can support each other through the different snapping points. That's why we need friends and family who aren't the same as us. 
Anyway, I'll let you know if my key chain breaks. 

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Now and Then

     One of the questions people ask me when they discover I enjoy photography is "What do you like to photograph?"  Macro photographs?  Portrait?  Landscape?  I always hem and haw when I answer that... oh you know, I like closeups and I take pictures of my siblings, and kids are adorable...  My photographic style, much like my taste in music and, okay, the rest of my life, seems to be varied.
     I love capturing the beauty of the Earth, both in landscape and in macro.  Every day God gives us a painting spread out across the entire sky or just close up on a single flower petal.  Water slowly dripping off of a frozen waterfall as spring thaws out the ice.  The mountains, stretched out behind the water.  I love taking pictures of that sort of view!
     Some of my favorite people subjects are those who are new to the idea of a camera - young kids. Kids don't realize what I'm doing, so they just act natural in their cute kiddy way.  There's no "I'm not photogenic" excuses or camera nerves.  When the kids are fascinated by the sound the camera makes, or the many buttons they can push, it results in poking and blurs and curiosity photos.  Children are curious!  I love it.  Or, if the kids have started to realize when big people hide behind a small black box those big people can show them a picture of themselves, then they tend to play peekaboo or some similar game - also cute.
     That's a general idea of what I like to take pictures of.  Now, if I really want to make photography a serious hobby (or even a career?) part of my goal is to get my pictures noticed.  Think back to the pictures that you love the most, or the ones that have made the most impact on society.  Is your favorite photograph the one of your family in matching outfits sitting in a row smiling, or is it the spontaneous one your sister took at the beach where you're everyone's laughing and legitimately happy?  Okay, maybe that sounds cheesy, but my point is the photos we love the most are the ones where real life was happening and so the ones we have memories associated with.  Yes, your cat is pretty, but she's prettier when you're playing with her.  Similarly, the photos that most affect society are not the gorgeous mountaintop views or the classic family photo but the photos capturing something that happened, be it exciting or horrendous.  Think of photos from the Vietnam war or West Berlin.  Almost anyone can think of some photo from those two historical occasions, places.  Now, that flower is gorgeous, but then you'll choose you and your brother playing, then people will want to see pictures of people and memories and life happening.
     That's what I love capturing, what it's my goal to capture.  Life.  Laughter.  Mourning.  Tedium.  Work.  Friendship.  That's part of why I take pictures of small children - they're full of life.  Even if that life is crying because the vacuum cleaner was taken away from them.  But their smiles aren't plastered, their eyes aren't dull - they're vibrant!  It's gorgeous!  I want to have pictures of me and my friends, all dressed up, taking turns with the camera, making faces.  The photos in my photo album should contain my family, me and Mom, my Dad tickling me, my annoying (but loved) siblings.  Life is a word that encompasses a lot; I guess I should keep my camera handy at all times.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Overcomplicate

     My post today was inspired by this image on Pinterest:
      I think we're all instigators and victims of an overcomplicated life. I suppose this has been on my mind most lately as it relates dating, but the basic principle can be applied to most relationships.  We seem to think something means more if we don't ask for it, if we don't start the ball rolling. Yes, okay, in some aspects. Surprises and gifts are wonderful and they show thought and care. And sometimes the other person needs to make the first move.  But when I see girls trying to suggest something to their boyfriend and then get all pouty because he didn't pick up the hint, I don't think that's fair to the guy.  In general, boys and girls don't always speak the same language. In fact, every person has his or her own language because each and every one of us is a unique individual who only sees the world from one, personalized point of view.  
     Would it not be better to be lovingly up front and honest? I think it would change our relationships for the better.  When you need a hug, ask for it.  When you miss somebody, tell them. Of course, this is in general and as with everything there are exceptions to this, there is a balance. If you've tried to talk to somebody 10 times and they aren't responding, you may want to take a break and not nag them.  But that's not my point.  Bottom line is: don't overcomplicate. 


Thursday, February 13, 2014

There's something in my shoe

     The other morning, I slid my foot into my sneaker and scraped over a small stone.  Habitually, I froze up and almost pulled my foot out of my shoe.  There's something in my shoe, there's Something in my shoe, there's SOMETHING in my shoe! No, it's just a rock.  But I have a very good reason for this instinctual reaction.
     A year and a half ago, getting ready for school. 5:45 am, dark, I'm half asleep, and I'm pulling on my uniform.  I pull my scuffed-up, thick-soled, black dress shoes out from under my dresser, pull the left one on. *Yawn.*  I lace it up, ensuring the strings are flat, not twisted.  Next shoe, now.  It's like the hokey-pokey.  I put my toe in, I PULL MY TOE OUT!  There's something pokey in my shoe!  I'm awake!  I'm pretty sure I screamed - you can ask my sister if you really need to know.  I ever so slowly grab one of the laces and tip the shoe sideways; out comes this:

     This is a parktown prawn.  They are ugly, very pokey, squirt ink, and impossible to kill.  I've been told it takes several phone books to stun them.  Of course, my mom doesn't like killing things.  I'm thankful she let us kill the mosquitoes.  Spiders, wasps, parktown prawns, they go outside.     Meaning someone has to pick them up and carry them there, and, when it's my shoe, that someone is me. Eurgh! 
     For the remainder of my time in Africa, I never failed to check my shoes before putting them on. And I still have the THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY SHOE instinct. 
     All this to say, be thankful you don't find parktown prawns in your shoes. 

I was freaking out too much to ever take a picture of one of these, so the image is from http://www.outdoorphoto.co.za/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=264444

Friday, October 4, 2013

Compliments

     Yesterday, a stranger told me I was pretty.  I'm normally the smart one, or the short one, or the one with a strong faith, so the different compliment touched me.  Besides that, I realised the compliment meant more because it was a stranger saying so.  
     When you get to know people, they become beautiful and wonderful regardless of how they look on the outside, and we intuitively know that.  When Mom says I look pretty today, it's still nice hearing it, but it's like, it's Mom she's supposed to say that.  They're my friends they're supposed to say that.  A compliment from a total stranger will touch deeper and remain with us for much longer.
     With that in mind, we should consider complimenting strangers around us.  If you notice that the girl next to you in English has her hair done up nicely, tell her so.  If you really like those shoes, mention them.  Encourage those around you.  And not just those who you're supposed to compliment.  

Monday, April 22, 2013

Mission Trip - Kitima Mulilo, Namibia

     Last weekend, I got the chance to go on a mission trip up to Katima Mulilo, Namibia.  It was a very short trip with 48 hours out of the five days spent driving, but it was amazing.  Our aim was to teach the local churches how to evangelize on the streets.  That wasn't something I had done before either, so it was a learning experience for me as well.


     It wasn't something that could be described by an everyday journal.  That would have captured what we we did, where we went, the funny moments, but it wouldn't have captured the emotions and the way God worked because it was something that grew even when we weren't doing anything.    There were moments I want to remember like the quality of the stars, playing Warlords and Scumbags (a card game) in the 13 passenger van, a couple of the grade 8 boys labeling me as the "Russian Spy", and pushing the bus out of the sand and then noticing the elephant by the side of the road and sprinting to catch up with the bus.                                                                           

     Refreshing.  Invigorating.  Reviving.  Awe-inspiring.  Releasing.  I went because I wanted to know how to share the gospel, but God worked a much deeper change in my life.  Being around people who are passionate and unafraid before God released something in me.  Who you hang out with affects who you are.  

     Sharing your faith with other people makes your spiritual foundation even more solid.  Two of the ladies I shared with were standing outside the hospital, and after they accepted Christ they asked me and my group to come in and pray with a male relative.  Later, we found out that Dr. Pier, of our team, had been refused entrance to the men's ward - God opened that door.  We later talked to a group of ladies and children and we were at first met with a "this is ridiculous" attitude, but then I started speaking and they got very quite and then gave their lives to the Lord,  our translator later told us that they were whispering "how can one so young preach like this?" The oldest girl was also especially affected - there's a demeanor, a way of acting that shows the person is listening and being touched.

     20 seconds of courage.  At first, I was nervous, but I don't have to be.  I might have to summon up the guts for the initial push, but it's not me doing it, it's God.  That night, we held a Crusade and did a drama and worshipped.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  

     The style of worship at the African churches is amazing.  I don't know what's different, but no one - including me - minded being at church for three hours (we left at that point so we could start heading home, but I don't know how much longer the service extended for).  And the singing!  The whole, albeit small, congregation joined in, harmonizing.  Our team was asked to pray for the sick and whereas I'm normally unsure of what to say, the words just came.  God was speaking through me.

     Something God's placed on my heart this weekend is that He works through imperfection.   Even if I make mistakes in my presentation or something, He uses me. 

     At first, the way the team prayed seemed strange because it seemed like everyone was talking all at the same time and competing to be listened to, but I came to realize that everyone is just praying together and individually with  God.  Sometimes one person leads the prayer and everyone else joins in with 'Amen' and 'Yes, Lord's.  Also, speaking in tongues.  I was skeptical on this point; it sounds like absolute gibberish.  But I asked, and my team members explained it to me.  It's God's language that He gives each of us, and no one but He can understand it; it's different for each person.  Like any gift or talent or language, practicing it makes it easier and more fluent.  It's like praying emotion, especially when you don't have words.  You have to have faith that you're not just making the words up, and that the Holy Spirit is giving them to you, but you have to open your mouth.  

     On the last night, Eden originally approached those of us playing cards with the suggestion that we minister to the other lodgers, but we ended up with one of our own young team members being born again, and my questions about tongues being answered.  We were all sure that God put ministering on Eden's heart, not for the other lodgers, but for us as a group.  
     I continue to be confirmed that God brought me here to South Africa to bring me closer to Him.  Not just because I lacked friends and support, and so I relied on him, but also to open me up to the workings of the Holy Spirit and the depth at which I could KNOW God. 




Monday, February 25, 2013

Guest post: Teresa - Be Different

Differences



     Ummm. Hi. Sara's asked me to write on something, because she couldn't find anything to write on.  I've never really done this before, (maybe once?) so I'm not sure how it will turn out. Much different than the way Sara and Malea would post, but I'll give it a go anyway. 
     So, something I, and most likely all of us, am trying to do is to fit in. To not stand out. To not be different. Sometimes we hold back from doing our best, or make a decision that maybe wasn't the best choice, or hurt someone else so you're not seen with them, all because we don't want to be labeled a freak or unpopular. The Weirdo. 
     But what if God wants us to be different? You can see it all through out the Bible. The first reference I found was in Genesis 6. Noah.  He was different. He was righteous. And probably not very popular about it. I mean, he built an ARK in his back yard. Can you imagine? He would be the definite winner of "Laughingstock of the neighborhood." And he worked on it for 120 years! But his reward was great. He was saved from the flood that killed all the other people and animals. He made a covenant with God. Would you rather be laughed at and live, or not do anything and die?

     Or what about the Israelites? God called them out to be a set apart people. He enabled them to defeat nations 2-3 times lager then themselves. He gave their enemies into their hands. He preformed miracles for them. He did stuff that made other nations tremble in fear and wonder who these people were. He made sure that they were noted as different. 
     But if Jesus wasn't the odd guy out, nobody was! While everyone else was cowering behind the pharisees, he confronted them to their face and told them how very wrong they were.  Everyone hated the Gentiles, and he said that they, too, were allowed to believe in God. He cared for people not worth caring for, cripples, lepers, blind men. He did miracles. He raised the dead. He could explain the bible better than the teachers could. He had people calling him Lord.  The worst thing he did was he claimed to be the Son of God! 'GASP!' That really sent the 'righteous' people recoiling. Yep! Jesus claims the title of Different!  God wants us to be like Jesus. He wants us to follow Jesus's example. 
Look at the following verses. They both say something about being different. 
              Romans 12:2a
                   Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
             1 Corinthians 3:3
                    You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?

      Romans 12:2 is clear. We need to stop following the patterns of this world. 1 Corinthians 3:3 hints that we should stop acting like mere men, not called to do anything to change the world men who can't be called disciples of Jesus. 1 John tells us not to worry if we are different like this.
             1 John 2:17
                   The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

     The world will not be remembered. The people who laughed at you or called you names will die and they will be forgotten. But if you have changed the world, loved Jesus, been different, you will live forever.  Also, if you look back at people who have dared to be different, see how they are remembered. We learn about them, who they were and what they did. And we don't remember the people who mocked them. For instance, David Livingstone, or Martin Luther.  
     David Livingstone discovered Africa. But people tried to stop him from going, saying he would get killed by the savages, or the diseases that ran rampage. He took a chance and went anyways. Now, we have Africa to remember him by, and nobody knows off the top of their head who told David Livingstone not to be different. 
     Martin Luther started the protestant movement. The Roman Catholic church were the dissuaders in this case. Martin Luther was put under house arrest, but he still managed to create a new church and the archbishop who is responsible for house arresting Martin Luther- Well, I don't know his name. I've never read it.  And if you know of Sara's love for books, I'm the same way. And I have been given some strange looks (My mom calls them 'third eye' looks) when I say I can read a book or two in a day, no problem. 
      So go out there and change the world. And if people give you third eye stare because you are making a difference, just hold you head high, smile, and wave. Be who you are. Don't hold back anything. 


Friday, January 25, 2013

You Are What You Eat

        While this statement isn't entirely true, and you're not going to turn into a banana if you eat three bananas every day, there's a lot of meaning behind it that, sadly, gets ignored.  Americans are stereotyped as being fat, as I've discovered after being asked several times why I'm NOT fat.  There are plenty of people over here who are just as overweight as Americans are.  I see a lot of girls my age who were fit a year ago when I showed up starting to put on weight as they stop growing upwards but don't stop eating as much and don't exercise enough.  Our body is a temple and we need to take care of it.
     We can't gorge ourselves on candy, chips, and McDonalds every day.  Actually, most of us don't, but we'll have a piece of chocolate here, a handful of MnM's there, a coke now or then.  I'm not saying don't ever touch any junk food ever, but we need to think about what we're putting in our body.  

     To consider another point of this, there is a passage in the Bible where Jesus talks about the inside and the outside of the cup:


37 When Jesus had finished speaking, a Pharisee invited him to eat with him; so he went in and reclined at the table. 38 But the Pharisee was surprised when he noticed that Jesus did not first wash before the meal.

39 Then the Lord said to him, “Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. 40 You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also? 

     Now, making sure your eating is healthy and you exercise enough is all well and good, but that's just taking care of the "outside" of the cup.  The outside is your physical body; the inside is your spiritual, emotional, and mental being.  What are you feeding your mind?  Are you reading your Bible everyday?  Are you listening to music that swears and elevates sex?  Do you listen to your mentors and leaders, or are you following the way of tv shows, magazines, and giving in to peer pressure?  
     I challenge you to think about what you eat.  What are you putting into your body - both physical and spiritual, and does it honor God?   


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The World's Projections

Last week, Malea wrote about the self image we should have of ourselves.  Of how we are ‘made in the image of God’ and are thus beautiful, because God is beautiful.  She’s right.  We are beautiful creatures, beautiful humans, because God made us so, but the world likes to tell us differently.
Standing in line at any checkout counter in any grocery store, there are magazines with models on them, posing.  Thin waists, long legs, large busts, and narrow faces, we are led to believe they are the image of beauty, and something we should strive for. You’ve probably heard this before, but it won’t hurt anyone to hear it again.  The models on the covers of the magazines don’t look anything like themselves, they are airbrushed and photo shopped to what lots of people consider near perfection.
In fact, what they look like is impossible for almost all women – the world wide!  One major issue is waist size.  It seems like every girl today is obsessed with the desire to be thinner, and they will go to major lengths to attain it.  The waist size of the magazine models, or what seem to be the models, is totally unattainable for the majority of girls in the United States.  Anorexia is the leading psychiatric cause of death in the United States, including depression.  This is one of the trends that needs to stop before it can cause more damage than it already has.
Another thing I notice every day is the amount of makeup teen girls wear.  It’s ridiculous!  Honestly, I think the girls just look uncomfortable.  Why wear so much makeup?  Is it because we feel self conscious without it?  Is it because we feel the world won’t accept us if we aren’t coated in color?  Or are we hiding behind a mask?
One of my favorite songs is Identity, by Lecrae.  The third verse in this song says
Got her hair done, toes, nails


is that Her? well it's hard to tell

 Identity is found in the God we trust
Any other identity will self destruct.
I love this song for the message it carries.  It reassures us that no matter what we do, nothing we have on this earth will account to anything.  It’s only in Christ that anything can give us Identity.  We don’t need to hide behind layers of makeup, behind immodest clothes, or behind our put-on personality, because God loves us for who we are, and no matter what the world says, God’s love is all that matters.
The world will tell us we are ugly and unloved, but God says that’s not true. He says ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness.’  (Jeremiah 31:3).  No matter what the world tells us, we can rest in the fact that God loves us; so much that He would send His only Son (my parents say I won’t understand the true sacrifice of this until I have my first child) to die for us!  How awesome is that?
Don’t listen to what the world says anymore.  Listen to what your creator, the lover of your soul says.  Listen to Jesus
I am a sixteen year old daughter
Lost in the mirror, no self esteem
But God made me in His image
And that makes me a beauty queen
Mandisa, Freedom Song, 2009


cause she's so caked up in all that make up
It's like she's tryna make up for what she ain't got 
she's a saint but so confused
cause she's been rejected by all these dudes
they tell her on a scale of 10 she's a two
but that ain't true, if she only knew
In Christ she is loved she secure and accepted
never be rejected by God who's elected her 
Her beauty is her Godliness
And she ain't gotta flaunt it cause it's obvious