Today or Tomorrow

          Today, I came to the end of another season of my life. High school - or as close as I ever got to high school. I wrote my last exam at the community college, spent my last half hour out in the sun in the middle of campus, and took my last regular bus ride - here, anyway. There will be plenty of exams in university, plenty of hours spent sitting in the sun, plenty of time spent on the public bus. Unless the system changes drastically in the next three months, which I don't expect it will.
          My strange high school/running start/grade status combined with my distance from the school has meant that I hold almost no loyalty to the school that I've now attended for 6 quarters. I'm normally pretty ready to be loyal, so it was strange not caring about sports or campus life at all. I certainly did not expect to miss it at all (okay, I still don't). But I walked out of building 7 today and headed for the grass and was hit with a feeling of nostalgia. As much as it has been merely a stepping stone to my next stage of life, I have lived here. I have many good memories and met people who have influenced my life significantly. It's because of Char and CeCe that I have developed a love for biology and am choosing to minor in it so as to provide some interest amidst my chemistry major. I met Blake in my first quarter and have attended school and walked through life with him since then; he is a part of many of my sunlit memories spent out on the grass. I made new friends: Sofia, Kellan, Chloe, Alyssa, Dung, and many others. I fought with microbiology, laughed over calculus, and debated which 8 out of 40 people should survive the alien invasion (thanks to MFC-J, an inspiring English teacher). I have learned and grown and laughed and fought and loved and lived in the last two years. I won't miss the bus smell, the noise of the commons, or inadequate "microbiology" lab, but I will miss the sunrises over the mountain, the study room in building 15, the web cafe, the random pieces of art, and our building 13.
          I know that countless memories are yet to be made. I have a host of new experiences waiting for me: big city, dorm life, AFROTC, lots of chemistry classes, some biology and art classes, new friends, new opportunities. Right now, I'm working through financial paperwork, placement tests, possible class schedules. I should hear back about my dorm and roommate assignment in a couple of months. The realization that I'll be moving out soon is always at the back of my mind. I'm ready for it. I know where God's leading me - for now.
          It's really easy to give an answer when people ask what I'm doing next year. "I'm going here to study chemistry and then into the Air Force." Those are my plans and I tell them so. But it's been on my mind that the Bible pretty specifically say NOT to do that.

"13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” 14 Yet you do not know [b]what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” " James 4:13-15, NASB

 I have plans and I have been seeking the Lord's guidance the whole way, and He has directed my steps. All the same, I am still a vapor, or a mist as the ESV says (it's mentally challenging to put a verse in a version other than I've memorized). I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I have plans, but God may yet direct my steps another direction. Wherever He leads me, I am excited to follow. And If the Lord wills, I will go here to study chemistry and then into the Air Force, and I will live and make memories along the way.

Anne & Joe

          These last few weeks, I have been interviewing residents at the retirement home where I work, seeking to know their stories. It has been a privilege to hear each story, and a few residents have given me written permission to share their stories with all of you. This is an exercise in writing for me - if you have any questions, comments, or critiques, please let me know!

            1930. Life was difficult in Brooklyn, New York in the depth of the depression, but his mother made ends meet. She worked hard to support her young son after his father left her for other women. They never experienced the hardest parts of the depression, certainly not to the extent that the folks in Oklahoma and other places did, but they knew hardship all the same.

            As Joe got older, opportunities opened up for him. He attended a military school in West Virginia for a few years in the late 30s-early 40s. Joe’s mother remarried, and she, Warren, and Joe moved to Montreal before Joe graduated high school. While they were living there, WWII broke out. Joe returned to the states, to Burlington, Vermont, to complete school before enlisting in the Army. He went through basic training in Florida in 1944 and then was shipped overseas where he served in Europe for 6 months, in the 10^th Armored Division right after the Battle of the Bulge. “Boy, was I lucky to miss that,” he says, looking back.

            Soon after he finished his service in the military, Joe’s mother died. He returned for her funeral and then sought an education. Although he had been considering becoming a doctor or dentist, he instead began college in Vermont, studying agriculture and economics, and ended up in the insurance business, a job that took him around the country. He met a girl and got married, had two boys and one girl. 25 years later, he and his wife divorced, and he subsequently began night school at Fort Steilacoom Community College. It was at night school that he met Anne.

            1936. She was grateful for the bed and food the nuns offered her. Goodness knows she was better off here in the convent than she had been at her aunt’s house where she was just another mouth to feed.  She remembers with a grimace the clothing lines and the fact that they could never afford new shoes, although the soles were loose on her old ones, and all that just a year ago. At the age of 12, one year prior, she had run away to her 6^th grade teacher at the Chicago, Illinois convent, where she would be taken care of for the remainder of the depression era. Although her cousins, who also attended school at the convent, told her that her aunt wanted her to return, her aunt held no legal authority over her, so she remained at the convent.

            Anne’s parents had immigrated to the US from Croatia in the early-mid 1900s, just before the depression struck. When Anne was 6, her mother passed away. Although she was young, Anne holds on to memories of her loving mother, especially her beautiful blue dress with the gold fleur-de-lis design, which she wore to church ever morning. Her father, unable to care for her, gave Anne to his sister in Chicago, Illinois. Anne attended school at the local convent, where she lived in her later schooling years. When she started high school, she decided she wanted to become a nun and was sent to the motherhouse in Colorado for two years. During her sophomore year, she changed her mind and came back to Chicago. In high school, she met her future husband. She wasn’t everything he hoped she would be, so she changed for him and compromised herself, something she regrets to this day.  He didn’t believe in the education of women, so she finished high school and stopped attending school. She had dreamed of a man of high ideals, with a love of his faith, and a positive outlook, but settled for what she had instead. Anne helped put him through med school and moved to Tacoma for his internship. During their marriage, he had affairs, and, after 8 children, they were divorced.

            After the divorce, she went back to school at Fort Steilacoom Community College to pursue her dream of becoming educated and here she met Joe.

      It was in a Human Potential Class that Anne and Joe met. This was a class that impacted both of them deeply, focusing on Personal Responsibility and Emotional Development, a phrase they both still remember 40 years later. Outside of Human Potential, however, it was their shared loved for the Lord that brought and kept them together. The Lord has never abandoned them, and, in Anne’s words, the last 39 years have been a fairytale. They traveled together, to Europe twice and to other places. Anne went to Europe twice more on her own, to discover her family’s roots in Croatia. She was searching for herself and she found it in the town where she was immediately recognized as her mother’s daughter. Walking along a street in Kaštela, a woman called out “You’re Maria’s daughter!” and Anne knew she had found something special. Her self-esteem had been knocked down to zero after her divorce, and between Human Potential, Joe, Kaštela, and the Lord’s grace, she began to be built back up. Joe and Anne continued their education, Anne continuing on to Evergreen Community College. Anne focused on the three children she still had at home, co-owned a bookstore, and then got into real estate. Joe can be described as a poet, painter, and romantic.

      Now, they sit across from me, both in their rocking chairs, both smiling brightly. For the last several months, they have never failed to inform me that they are praying for me. They ask after my schooling and my plans for the future, and I am honored that they have taken such an interest in me.

      Joe’s words to me: “You’re doing okay. You have your life figured out and the smarts to pursue it. Not many have that.”

      Anne’s words to me: “Don’t ever compromise yourself; remain true to you. Retain your individuality.”

The Best Vacation Ever

     So I'm about halfway through my summer vacation, now, and I've pretty much decided that this is the best summer I've ever had and that this summer probably will hold that record for a while.  I'm not saying it's perfect, with every day better than the last, but I seem to have struck the balance between busy and relaxation that works for me.  Below is a list of what I think makes this a beautiful summer:

     1. Get a job/be productive.  One of the things I think ruins a vacation is boredom.  Vacation boredom is why I love the South African school schedule we were on: 3 months school, 1 month holiday, repeat.  However, if you can keep yourself busy with a good summer job (especially if it's one you enjoy) that boredom will be a lot longer in coming.  As for being productive, this is around-the-home stuff: college/scholarship applications, cooking, cleaning, organizing, community organizations, etc.  
     2. Be lazy. That said, vacation is supposed to be relaxing.  Only allot yourself so much to do that when you feel like being lazy, you can be lazy.  Obviously, this is in lesser amounts.

     3. Exercise.  You should do this year round, so don't slack off in the summer.  Much.  For more than a couple weeks at a time.  And have fun with exercising!  Don't use that machine every day for 30 minutes... borrrrring.  Pick up a new water sport, or run outside, turning down whichever side street you come to!
     4. Spend time outside.  Summer, unless you live someplace ridiculously hot, is a great time to go outside.  I've pretty much taken over caring for my mom's herb garden, and even the normally tedious chore of weeding is made 100x better when I'm out soaking in the sun.  Read outside.  Nap outside.  Work outside.  And exercising outside is so much nicer than exercising inside.
     5. Do what you love.  Spend time really filling yourself up; for me, this means I take my camera and play.  I read good books (this summer our family is reading classics), I paint, and I spend time in the kitchen.
     6. Build relationships.  This means seeking to hang out with friends, to spend time with siblings, to connect with parents and peers.  Be sociable.  I'm an introvert, so sometimes this is difficult, but it just means sometimes I need to have a day to be antisocial. 
     7. Keep traditions.  For as long as I can remember, my extended family has congregated at a cabin on a lake in northern Minnesota.  I know each of my cousins and aunts and uncles because of this, and I love the lake.  I wouldn't trade this time for anything. 
     8. Start new traditions.  Just because you have good old traditions to keep does not mean you can't start new traditions.  I always wonder when people say one mustn't do something because "it's not tradition."  Tradition had to start somewhere.  So, once a week, have a game night.  Rent a jetski and visit a local body of water.  Something.
     9. Explore.  Going hand in hand with starting new traditions, summer is a perfect time to find new places.  Visit a new restaraunt.  Hike unknown trails.  Take a road trip to wherever you end up.  Or, explore your own town a little bit more. 
     10. Spend time with God.  Most importantly, as always, spend time with the one who set an example for resting, who created the places you'll explore, who is a working, hands-on God, who wants a relationship with you. 

     This summer does have a bittersweet aspect to it.  I turned 18 back in April and, looking back over the last few months, it's almost as if I can feel childhood slipping away.  It's not something I can stop, it's not something I wish wouldn't happen, it's not something I want to hurry up.  People say my entire life is before me, but, more accurately, my entire life is behind me.  The rest of my life is before me.  This may very well be the last summer I can spend in the way I've just described.  That aches, but I've a restless excitement for what comes next, what God will do next.  

Note: it does help to speak to the weatherman and ensure that the summer weather is spectacular.  I've hardly had one ugly day in the last 8 weeks and 3 states.

On (Okay, after...) my Graduation Day

      I really meant to post this a week... two weeks ago.  You know, right after graduation.  Definitely before I left for my week at the US Air Force Academy.  Did that happen?  Nope.  So anyone who actually reads this blog is left with a month between posts.  Not ideal, but what's done is done.  Better late than never?  Back to that cliches thing....
     Anyways, although my technical "what year am I in school" definition is way more complicated than "Senior", suffice it to say that I walked a graduation ceremony this year and will (likely) not next year.  I walked with 7 other seniors at the homeschooling coop that I was part of for a few years before moving to South Africa.  It was such a nice ceremony, just family and friends, but the small graduating class (many who used to be in our class graduated from the local high school) meant each and every one of those graduating had to give a speech.  I probably knew about this 3 or 4 months ago, but did I write it?  Noooo.... It was okay, though, the speech-writing and -delivery went fairly well.  Below is the product of that hurried 15 minutes an hour before showtime.  As the M.C. said, perfected procrastination is known as inspiration.  Keep that in mind.

     
     Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start....  it was a spring day in North Carolina when I was born on April 9, 1996.  The first born, I was to be my parents' guinea pig, as they have so lovingly called me, for the next several years of my life.  Indeed, probably for the rest of it.  Thankfully, my parents are relatively ethical with animals, and I think I turned out okay.
     My mom jokes that she started homeschooling me because she didn't want to take me to the bus every day, and I am certainly thankful for that decision; buses almost always smell bad.  Thus began my homeschooling journey, with many different teachers, friends, and experiences.  I tell people I love homeschooling because I can finish my work at noon and have the rest of the day to myself, but I also love working at my own pace, avoiding the drama of public school, and forging a strong relationship with my parents, especially with my mom.  She has taught me so much outside of academics - to cook, to sew, to be independent, to serve those around me.  I am so thankful for her. 
     I am also thankful for my Dad.  he is a strong father who loves me deeply, who wants me to figure out everything, including how to change the car radio, and who is always ready with a hug when I need one.  I love you Mom and Dad.
     And although at times it may be hard to see past the annoying outsides, I love my siblings as well.  Esther, I love your laughter.  Ivan, your cheerful heart.  Becca, your smile is beautiful.  Jonathon, I do (most of the time) love your goofiness.  Teresa, I love the way you listen to me in the night as we discuss how to solve the problems of the world.  Or how you put up with me when I fall asleep in the middle of the problem solving. 
     My whole family has supported me as I've grown.  It hasn't always been easy, goodness no, or even always good, but it has been a family for which I am so grateful.  Now, as I look to the future, I don't know where I'm going, but I know they'll be with me every step of the way.  
     Although I have been class of 2014 my entire life, my 2 years overseas "messed up" my school schedules, so I am actually only a grade 11 in the eyes of the government; I dropped back a year to take full advantage of the Running Start program.  I am acting a senior in most everything else, but I'll finish up my Associates Degree next year. 
     From there, who knows where God will lead me?  I'm considering the air force, or going into chiropractic.  I'm interested in photography as well, I want to raise a family, and I sense the call of God into the mission field.  Wherever I am, my Lord will be with me and my family behind me.

So yea.

An Unfinished Story: The Ninth Lesson

The ninth lesson: John unfolds the mystery of the Incarnation

In the beginning the Word already existed.
    The Word was with God,
    and the Word was God.
He existed in the beginning with God.
God created everything through him,
    and nothing was created except through him.
The Word gave life to everything that was created,
    and his life brought light to everyone.
The light shines in the darkness,
    and the darkness can never extinguish it.

God sent a man, John the Baptist, to tell about the light so that everyone might believe because of his testimony.  John himself was not the light; he was simply a witness to tell about the light.  The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him.  He came to his own people, and even they rejected him.  But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.  They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.

So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.
(John 1:1-14, NLT)

An Unfinished Story

Phillip Godfrey

It was a night in December, cold December when a light came into our world,

A light sent from up above us, one night Bethlehem beheld.

But is that night in December all we remember of the light heaven chose to send?

An unfinished story is what we are hearing, but we can determine its end.

For he was sent to protect us, he was meant to direct us like a star shining overhead.

He pointed the way to heaven so clearly with what he said.

But will the world ever hear him, gather near him as a guide, guardian, and friend?

An unfinished story is what we are hearing, but we can determine its end.

Rejoice, all the angels sang, rejoice, as the church bells rang.

Would we hear them say were they here today?

This is an unfinished story, filled with glory such as we cannot comprehend.

A wonderful story is what we are hearing but we can determine its end

Rejoice, all the angels sang, rejoice, as the church bells rang.

Would we hear them say were they here today?

This is an unfinished story, filled with glory such as we cannot comprehend.

A wonderful story and we have been given the chance to complete it,

A chance that we must not suspend.

The chance to complete it the way we would like it to end.

Rejoice!

I Got Proof

Kareem Manuel feat. Lecrae

If you go through the Bible consisteAnnotatently (that means read it)

Realize there’s no inconsistencies, start looking at things differently

When a soldier in his infantry looks at Genesis 3

God said it was him, the messiah that crushed the head

Of the serpent as I read, saw it all come to a head

Told of the suffering at Judas’ hand

The promise seen through Abraham

Prophecies Isaiah said, all fulfilled through Christ who bled

The Da Vinci code or Zeitgeist film

Couldn’t convince me not to die for him

Without their fame and prominence

Their arguments don’t make no sense

How you gon’ convince me that I’m simply a product of chance?

That the Big Bang came, and made a monkey that done made a man?

If you want to follow theory or die you got...?

Then there’s clearly nothing left to be said

Cus Christ is alive, rose to the sky

While all your truths are surely dead

[Hook]

I got proof, I got proof, I got proof

That he’s still living

I got proof, I got proof, I got proof

That he is risen

And this is why I die, why I live my life

For the sake of Jesus Christ, cus I believe that he’s alive

[Lecrae]

Witness not based on what I witness

But due to the word of an eye witness

But get this I don’t wanna wanna miss this

Business is serious like sickness

Arguments get me weary, man

They don’t use any history

All they have is a theory mayne

Why they tryin’ to Da Vinci me?

I spit a couple flows, did a couple shows

Met a couple bros who was all into doin’ no-nos

That and they into reading pros off of Dead Sea scrolls

Come on bro tell me that don’t sound loco

Cus Jesus died, took our sins into the sky

And a hundred times five seen him in the flesh alive

And the light in Paul’s eyes got him on his knees cryin’

Mention Jesus died tonight, runnin for his very life

They think that’s a lie, but Paul really died

Like millions other Christians who gave their life up for Christ

Hook

They wanna know why I’d die for him

Confused on why I ride with him

Got questions about Christian living

He’ll answer like Iverson

Heard me say Christ in all my songs

Dude run up on me like what if I’m wrong

I said I’m not then I saw his jaw

Stretch out and lay on the floor

He asked me how so I told him more

Christ in the clouds, and people saw him

Witnesses told them their report

Got them killed still they held on

To what they knew was no mistake

Got crucified, burned at the stake

If this wasn’t true, then dude I say

Would you die for what you knew was fake?

So I hope this hitting home, I ain’t reached this on my own

But why I preach him in every song

If he ain’t rise then find his bones

Been looking in the tombs, still looking in the ground

Keep searching bro, no where to be found

I ain’t Sherlock, but homes I’m found

So believe he ain’t no where around

"An Unfinished Story" is based off of a bulletin from a church service I attended in South Africa.  I will give credit to individuals throughout the series, but the bulletin is from St. Thomas' Anglican Church, Linden, from the 18th of December 2011 at 6:30 pm.  I edited to make it more modern.

An Unfinished Story: The Fifth Lesson

The fifth lesson: the angel Gabriel salutes Mary

In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you!”

 Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean.  “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God!  You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus.  He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David.  And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!”

 Mary asked the angel, “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.”

 The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God.  What’s more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she has conceived a son and is now in her sixth month.  For nothing is impossible with God.”

Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her.
(Luke 1:26-38, NLT)

A Baby Changes Everything

Faith Hill

Teenage girl, much too young

Unprepared for what's to come

A baby changes everything

Not a ring on her hand

All her dreams and all her plans

A baby changes everything

A baby changes everything

The man she loves she's never touched

How will she keep his trust?

A baby changes everything

A baby changes everything

And she cries!

Ooh, she cries

Ooh, oh

She has to leave, go far away

Heaven knows she can't stay

A baby changes everything

She can feel He's coming soon

There's no place, there's no room

A baby changes everything

A baby changes everything

And she cries!

And she cries!

Oh, she cries

Shepherds all gather 'round

Up above the star shines down

A baby changes everything

Choir of angels sing

Glory to the newborn King

A baby changes everything

A baby changes everything

Everything, everything, everything

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

My whole life has turned around

I was lost but now I'm found

A baby changes everything, yeah

A baby changes everything

"An Unfinished Story" is based off of a bulletin from a church service I attended in South Africa.  I will give credit to individuals throughout the series, but the bulletin is from St. Thomas' Anglican Church, Linden, from the 18th of December 2011 at 6:30 pm.  I edited to make it more modern.

Complaining

     Originally, this post was going to be me complaining.  I have some rants at the moment, and things that are seriously irritating.  I could go on and on, but I won't.  Instead, I took a moment to reflect on the fact that I was complaining.  

     Three months ago, I had complaints about my life in South Africa.  Now, I have complaints about my life in America.  If I were to move to Nicaragua I would have complai
nts about that, too.  We are so likely to complain.  I haven't decided yet whether that's entirely a bad thing, but it's an observation I've made.  No matter how good our situation, "the grass is greener over there".  
     But the reality is, we live in an imperfect world.  Humans mess up, rules are screwed up, and the whole world isn't looking up; that isn't going to change.  Wherever we are, we'll find something to complain about.  That's my reflection for today...

In the Middle

I've discovered the hardest part about moving.  For me, anyways.  It's waiting.


And waiting.


And waiting some more.  


We have to wait to hop on the airplane.  Yes, that car has to be sold.

We have to wait to finish school.  Yes, those exams must be taken.

We have to be patient with those around us.  Goodbyes must be said, advantage taken of all the remaining time.  

And then when we get back to the states, we have to wait more.  

Wait for the container to arrive.

Wait for school offices to open so we can sort of schedule our lives for the next year.  

Sometimes it would be really, really nice to just find out we're moving, say goodbye to everyone all at once, and hop on the plane the next day.  Oh, and our household goods?  It's being teleported.  It'll be there waiting for us.  

But *sigh* life doesn't work like that.  It's probably a good thing it doesn't, too.  We would leave a huge mess in our wake, a mess of finances, stuff, and emotions.  We would have burned all the bridges we made with our South African friends.  Also, if everything happened in an instant, we wouldn't have to trust God that the car will sell in time, we wouldn't have to rely on him through the difficulties. Times are tough, but God is tougher, and the hardships will help us learn.  

Admittedly, as you may have picked up from the above post, there were several points where I just wanted it to be over and done.  I was sick and tired of goodbyes and over scheduled time.  Now that I'm back in the states, I wish I could go back and spend more time with the people I now miss.  

So we are waiting at the moment.  Because all our furniture is somewhere in the middle of the ocean, we are living with my grandparents for a month, and then we'll camp out in our home until the ship gets here.  Soon we have to start school and soccer, Bible quizzing and music lessons and jobs, but for now we get a bit of peace.  A bit of quiet waiting time.  

To all my South African friends and followers: I miss you so much and I can't wait for you all to visit me!
To all my American friends and followers:  It's good to be back and I'm excited to experience life with you for the next while!  

Life is an Adventure

     A few weeks ago, I posted on Facebook: "The thing about life is, you never can be sure what's gonna happen." One of my friends posted a comment which became the inspiration for this post's title: "It's forever an adventure."  That friend was the only person on Facebook who knew my reason for posting because she was who I had turned to in a moment of overwhelm.

     That Friday, Dad came home from work and told us things had changed and we were moving out of South Africa, and while it was probable we would return to the US, it was still unsure.  Prior to that dinnertime conversation, it had been very likely Dad would get another job here in South Africa and we would be staying another two years, but God obviously has other plans for us.  While Dad was telling us, I went into a state somewhere between frozen shock and hysteria.  While those words may seem big and exaggerative, that's how I described it to my friend at the time.  I had been disappointed that I wouldn't be moving back to the states, but what good was a negative attitude?  So I had allowed myself to become excited about staying, since it was so likely.  I had mentally prepared myself for staying in South Africa, continuing to build relationships with my new friends, and graduating in a year and a half.

     When you're ready for something to happen, and the opposite does, it's stressful and harsh; change so often is.  I knew moving back would probably be as hard as staying here, since things have changed there and I wasn't there to change with them. I have changed in a different direction, and I've gotten a firm footing here, made good friends, and gotten involved with church; I'm going to miss the people here.  That's why I cried that night, and why I've been more stressed since then.

     After a couple days passed, I started to find the positives again - as I said earlier, what good is a negative attitude?  I'll be able to get my driver's license, we get to become involved in Bible Quizzing again, and the houses are warmer.  It was likely we'd be leaving just after mid-year exams end, in late-July, so we still had two and a half or three months with friends, but just as I got used to that idea it changed again - there was a possibility we were leaving early July instead... more tears.  And once I'd gotten used to the idea of leaving earlier, it reversed, and it was likely we would again leave just after exams.  Another round of tears.

     I tried my hardest to maintain that positive attitude, but I have my downs; I've succumbed to tears.  Change is hard - that's all there is to it.  But God works through the change; He makes us stronger and draws us to Him, and He has plans for us where He's leading us.  Now Dad's been offered a job back in our hometown and we're going to be moving back to our old house, old church, old friends.  That's where we're at right now, but who knows what could change tomorrow?  And I intend to trust God through it - what more can I do?

Forever and Always

Hello my dear readers!
It's been far too long since I have written a blog post. I've just been so swamped with school and life, but I've had a lot on my mind lately that needs to come out in a form of a blog post. So here it goes.

Forever. Always. These are two words of stability, of permanence; words which meanings we come to expect, words that are used often, but aren't thought or talked of nearly enough. Think about it. How many times have you told a friend that you'll always be there for them; a boyfriend that the two of you will be together forever? At the time they are spoken, we may mean these words with all of our hearts, but do we ever really think about these words and the responsibility that comes with speaking them? Until quite recently, I know I never did.

So what do they mean?
According to Dicionary.com, "always" can be defined as:
1. every time; every occasion; without exception.
2. all the time; continuously, uninterruptedly.
3. forever.
4. in every event; at any time; if necessary.

"forever" is defined as:
1. without ever ending; eternally.
2. continuously; incessantly; always.
      Okay, so you may have known the meanings of these words, but have you thought about the problem with them? There are only so many things one can always count on; not much lasts forever. These words are eternal, infinite, are consistent to the ultimate point, are permanent. But very few things in this life are permanent.
So what is?
     I'm the type of person who longs for deep, life-long friendships. And I don't need that many friends, I just need close ones. Therefore, I often have the mindset that my friendships will last forever - that nothing will come between my friends and me. I know things will change, but I always expect my friendships to adapt to change. This leaves me completely and overwhelmingly shocked when a person I was once close to drifts away, or something happens that causes a break in the friendship. I can easily remove myself from unhealthy situations, but I never see them coming, and I am always hit square in the face with the fact that no matter how much I want them to, friendships don't last forever. People grow up, change, and move away, and I have to move on. Friendships aren't permanent.
     Circumstances aren't permanent either. I know a lot of people who get so shaken up when something in their life changes. If they have to move, change schools, change jobs, etc., it's like they expect everything to always remain the same. But it doesn't.
The truth of the matter is, there is only one thing that is permanent. Only one thing that will always last forever. And that is love. But not the kind of love that popular culture promotes these days - the kind that one can "fall out of", the kind that demands something in return, but the kind of love that can only come from Jesus. The perfect, sacrificial, intense, all-consuming love of Jesus. The kind of love that inspired him to die for us, the kind of love that promised us life. That love is something we can always count on no matter what, something that lasts forever, that is infinite, that is consistent, true, and real.
     Now, I'm not saying that we shouldn't use forever and always unless speaking of God's love, but I am saying that in this temporary life, we as Christians can have hope. We can have hope because we know of something that these can be applied to truthfully. We have something that is permanent.

Guest post: Teresa - Be Different

Differences

     Ummm. Hi. Sara's asked me to write on something, because she couldn't find anything to write on.  I've never really done this before, (maybe once?) so I'm not sure how it will turn out. Much different than the way Sara and Malea would post, but I'll give it a go anyway. 
     So, something I, and most likely all of us, am trying to do is to fit in. To not stand out. To not be different. Sometimes we hold back from doing our best, or make a decision that maybe wasn't the best choice, or hurt someone else so you're not seen with them, all because we don't want to be labeled a freak or unpopular. The Weirdo. 
     But what if God wants us to be different? You can see it all through out the Bible. The first reference I found was in Genesis 6. Noah.  He was different. He was righteous. And probably not very popular about it. I mean, he built an ARK in his back yard. Can you imagine? He would be the definite winner of "Laughingstock of the neighborhood." And he worked on it for 120 years! But his reward was great. He was saved from the flood that killed all the other people and animals. He made a covenant with God. Would you rather be laughed at and live, or not do anything and die?

     Or what about the Israelites? God called them out to be a set apart people. He enabled them to defeat nations 2-3 times lager then themselves. He gave their enemies into their hands. He preformed miracles for them. He did stuff that made other nations tremble in fear and wonder who these people were. He made sure that they were noted as different. 
     But if Jesus wasn't the odd guy out, nobody was! While everyone else was cowering behind the pharisees, he confronted them to their face and told them how very wrong they were.  Everyone hated the Gentiles, and he said that they, too, were allowed to believe in God. He cared for people not worth caring for, cripples, lepers, blind men. He did miracles. He raised the dead. He could explain the bible better than the teachers could. He had people calling him Lord.  The worst thing he did was he claimed to be the Son of God! 'GASP!' That really sent the 'righteous' people recoiling. Yep! Jesus claims the title of Different!  God wants us to be like Jesus. He wants us to follow Jesus's example. 
Look at the following verses. They both say something about being different. 
              Romans 12:2a
                   Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
             1 Corinthians 3:3
                    You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?

      Romans 12:2 is clear. We need to stop following the patterns of this world. 1 Corinthians 3:3 hints that we should stop acting like mere men, not called to do anything to change the world men who can't be called disciples of Jesus. 1 John tells us not to worry if we are different like this.
             1 John 2:17
                   The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

     The world will not be remembered. The people who laughed at you or called you names will die and they will be forgotten. But if you have changed the world, loved Jesus, been different, you will live forever.  Also, if you look back at people who have dared to be different, see how they are remembered. We learn about them, who they were and what they did. And we don't remember the people who mocked them. For instance, David Livingstone, or Martin Luther.  
     David Livingstone discovered Africa. But people tried to stop him from going, saying he would get killed by the savages, or the diseases that ran rampage. He took a chance and went anyways. Now, we have Africa to remember him by, and nobody knows off the top of their head who told David Livingstone not to be different. 
     Martin Luther started the protestant movement. The Roman Catholic church were the dissuaders in this case. Martin Luther was put under house arrest, but he still managed to create a new church and the archbishop who is responsible for house arresting Martin Luther- Well, I don't know his name. I've never read it.  And if you know of Sara's love for books, I'm the same way. And I have been given some strange looks (My mom calls them 'third eye' looks) when I say I can read a book or two in a day, no problem. 
      So go out there and change the world. And if people give you third eye stare because you are making a difference, just hold you head high, smile, and wave. Be who you are. Don't hold back anything. 

He knows best

     I had my wisdom teeth out yesterday.  Before I went in for surgery, people kept telling me that I would be syringing the blood out of my mouth and that it was so painful and that I’d be totally out of it for a week.  While none of those are true, I am in pain.  I can’t smile and at this point (a day after surgery) I can only eat pureed foods - applesauce, smoothies, jello, mashed potatoes.  And I feel like a chipmunk because my jaw is swollen. :p 

     BUT: If I hadn’t had the teeth taken out, I would have had to have extensive orthodontic care in the future, I would have had a much higher chance of tooth decay and gum infection, and my mouth would have been very cramped.  Considering the minimal pain that I’m in today and will be in for the next couple of days, I would much rather have had them out now then going through all those problems in the future.  

     I wrote in my journal yesterday about a tie between that and God.  Sometimes, what God’s putting us through now hurts.  Maybe it even really hurts.  But it would be minimal to the pain we would experience in the future if we didn’t have to face it now.  God know’s what’s best for us and we need to trust Him and continue praising Him even through the bad times.

Long Time No See:Sara

     Malea said it pretty well last time she posted - it's been a really long time since our last post.  This is MY catching up post.  
     6 months ago, in February, I had been in South Africa for 6 months.  Now, I've been here for a year.   And that year has gone SO fast, it's unbelievable when I look back on it.  On the year-to-the-date anniversary, I posted on my Facebook page that "It's been a year full of settling in and some frustration, a year including a new school, a new church, and new friends, and a year in which we've grown as a family and as individuals."  There have been a lot of changes over the last year, and, as I indicated above, some of it's been frustrating.  It took us 9 months to find a church, but we're happy.  It's a very small church with less than 200 people, and less than 10 teenagers, only 1 my age, but we're forming close friendships.  Dad and I sing in the worship band, and I help out with children's church.  
     All of my life, up until a year ago, I was homeschooled.  Now, I and my 5 siblings attend a small (600 kids, K-12) private school called the King's College.  My best friend and brother, Matthew, whom I've known since 3rd grade, also lives with us and attends school at King's while his family is serves God as missionaries in Swaziland.  To find out more about the Taylor family and see how you can support them, visit robandjennifer.wordpress.com.  The motto of this school is "Audience of One".  The teachers are wonderful people, dedicated to the kids and their teaching.  I struggle with the fact that, in South Africa, the pass grade is 45%, but I raise the standard for myself, and achieve mostly 80s.  God calls us to work as if we're working for Him, and not for men - that means doing our best in everything, no matter how low the requirements are.  I've formed several deep relationships with people at school, with people who will push me towards God and inspire me to do my best.  
     My relationship with God has grown as I've had to deal with homesickness, family struggles, and lack of  "belonging".  I've had to lean on God through all of it.  Moving halfway around the world hasn't been easy, but I'm convinced this is where God has called us, so I'm glad we came.  
     On the upside, there are some distinctively different things about South Africa.  They call their traffic lights "robots", and the trunk of the car is the "boot".  They don't have Reese's Peanut Butter cups or Jelly Bellies, Bath and Body Works, or Ben and Jerry's, but they have Bar One and Jelly Tots, and their fruit and veggies are SOO good.  There is no insulation in there houses because it's only cold for a relatively short amount of the year, but we still managed to be here for the first time it has snowed in 5 years.  It was the day before school let out, but no one was in class when it was snowing.  The girls were having a screaming jumping fest out on the field, and the boys were playing soccer.  
     I guess if you take anything away from this post, take away that even if God's call is hard to follow through, it's the best path to follow.  A year ago, I couldn't imagine living anywhere but my hometown, I struggled to make new friends, and my relationship with God wasn't as strong as it is now.  Now, I'm living half way around the world with tons of new friends and I'm cradled in the arms of my Creator through everything.  And I've been told I've picked up a slight South African accent :D

Dealing with Change

Change. This is a word I don’t think anyone wants to hear unless it involves clothes. Why does this seem to be the case? Because change is scary. Deathly frightening. Change usually includes doing something outside of one’s comfort zone, leaving something that is familiar and comfortable. Sara and I are going to have change thrown in our faces at the end of this week. The kind of change that is really, really hard; Sara will be moving.

When I was little, moving was something new and exciting. But now that I’m older, it is something I dread. One of my biggest fears is that I’ll have to move somewhere far away; so far that I will have to give up everything that I Iove to do, say goodbye to all of my friends and never see them again. Sara will be moving to South Africa for over three years. By the time she gets back, we’ll be all grown up and very different. Though knowing that she’s coming back makes things easier, it is still so hard. Dealing with change is probably one of the hardest things to do. It would be so much easier to shut my mind to it an pretend like I don’t care. I do care, however, and ignoring emotions rather than dealing with them is very unhealthy. One thing that I do to deal with change is to talk to God about what’s bothering me, why I am not embracing the change. I even try to thank God for the change... because I know that somehow, someday I will look back on it and see that whatever I didn’t want to happen at the time ended up being the best thing that happened to me. Or it ended up making me a better person anyway.

Another thing I do is talk to other people about it. It is very important to have people in your life who you can talk to about almost anything. I have a few such people in my life like my mom and two really close friends. I am so thankful for these people.

A couple of my favorite verses in the Bible are my favorites because they helped me through some change or other. Whenever I’m having a rough time, I reread those verses or think about them if I have them memorized. One of my favorites in Joshua 1:9 which says: “This is my command: be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” This applies to just about everything in life. No matter what happens, remember to be strong and courageous - God didn’t just “highly recommend” it he commanded it. In whatever you do, wherever you go, remember that he is with you. Jesus is all we need.