(Temporarily) Satiated Wanderlust

     Just over a month ago, I was itching to go, to travel, to explore. I've had that desire fulfilled now and I'm at least temporarily satisfied to remain at home. In the last month, I've spent time in Canada, South Africa, and Zambia, as well as the US (of course) and stopovers in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and Rome, Italy. I don't know if stopovers count, especially when they occur from 3am-4am, as the Rome stopover did, but I was still in those countries for a short time.
     I drove into Canada (7 hours of travel), camped in very wet conditions, explored Vancouver, drove home (3 hours of travel), drove to La Conner (2 hours of travel), experienced the Tulip Festival with my wonderful mother, drove home (2 hours of travel), flew to South Africa (28 hours of travel), spent a fantastic week with friends, flew to Zambia (6 hours of travel), spent a weekend with my other family, the Taylors (http://robandjennifer.wordpress.com/ go follow them!), and flew home (36 hours of travel). That last part of was especially taxing. I had an amazing time... but, yea, I'm liking my bed, my mom's food, and a more relaxed schedule. I didn't ever think I'd call calculus relaxed.
     Until I moved to South Africa, I was never a wanderer. Short trips, sure, that's fine. But I intended to grow up and live right where I'd always lived, maybe even in the same house. Now...the whole world is open to me. I've spent time in different lifestyles, and the term culture shock isn't foreign. It would be hard to live elsewhere, but I could do it. I might even want to... More than anything, though, I want to live where God puts me. The opportunities He's given me at such a young age have broadened my horizons and made me consider differed places. What is He preparing me for, I wonder? I can't wait to find out.
     While these last few weeks haven't resulted in culture shock since they were short term, they have been full of experiences. International travel on my own, especially, was new. I had to navigate airports, luggage, visas, customs, and vaccinations (or lack thereof), all on my own. There were times when I was nervous, but now I've done it, I can do it again. I hope to, in the future.
     Each trip has been different and each has been good.

It was good to make new friends while camping in thunderstorms, good to explore the gorgeous forest around Golden Ears provincial park, good to laugh at crazy circumstances.

It was good to spend time with my mom, good to have my camera out and take as many pictures of tulips as I wanted, good to have a schedule that allowed me to wander La Conner, read by lamplight on the porch with the stars above me, and sing hymns in the morning.

It was good to be surprised by special girls with a special birthday dinner, good to have a busy schedule of seeing everyone, mini golfing, watching movies, playing board games, eating good food, good to work on relationships that I want to keep for years to come.

It was good to be part of the Taylor family, good to spend a little time in a second world country, good to talk to Mr Taylor, Mrs Taylor, and Matt.

It was good. And now it's good to be home with those I love.

Beauty in the Midst of Chaos

     My life is insane right now. This weekend I literally did nothing but work and study microbiology, except for going to church on Sunday morning; does that even count as a weekend? I work 10 hours a week, attend school for 4 hours a day, do homework for 5 hours a day, have a 45 minute commute, and I do actually like to see family and friends every once in a while. I try to get 7 hours of sleep, but that doesn't always happen. Lab today, work tomorrow, doctors appointment on Thursday, calculus exam on Friday... I don't mind work. I like being busy! But at times it can get a little overwhelming. That's when I'm thankful for beautiful days like yesterday... let my share my journal entry with you:

     Today was beautiful. As we drove out of tbe fog over the bridge, it gradually melted into visibility. The sunrise was pale against a clear blue sky, just wisps of color in the clouds. We could see all the way to the mountain, where the clouds were turning gold at 7:40. The trees were a dark green and a flock of birds flew silhouetted against the clear morning. There was no wind and the fog coated the miles of trees and land between us and the mountain. Soon, it rolled in off the water and blanketed school. The sun rose, a pale white circle through the clouds. When they burned off, a brilliant, clean blue sky was left for the rest of the day.
   
     This afternoon, I got ready for my run and realised I was excited to get out and move after a weekend of work. I decided to go farther than normal and head out to the bridge that leads to the island. I'm so glad I did. It was about an hour before sunset and the tide was out. The water was calm and still, reflecting the clear blue sky with the wispy clouds just beginning to golden. The cumulus clouds piled up on the horizon.  The dark trees were reflected in the water and the whole scene was caught in the haze of sunlight. A bird was catching a fish in the tidal pools. A man walked alone on the flats. Dead Man's Island was dark against the bright ocean. Behind me, the colorful houses and boats and trees of the suburbs shimmered in the water. As the cars (including a police car) drove around me, I hung off the side of the bridge there, soaking in the warm sun, absorbing the beauty, and grinning at the world.

Water. Trees. Fog. Light. Sun

Colors.

     I didn't get pictures of any of this. It was a day for enjoying and absorbing and waving at people and smiling. Beauty in the midst of chaos.

11 Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice;

    let the sea roar, and all that fills it;

12     let the field exult, and everything in it!

Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy

Nostalgic Christmas Cheer

     As school ends (last exam was today!), I have more room in my head to focus on the more enjoyable things... like Christmas! And reading, and music, and photography, and crocheting, and selling Christmas trees, and family... all those things, too.  Christmas... it's been in stores since October, and in full swing for a couple weeks now.  Normally, by the time December 25 rolls around, I'm really kind of ready for the whole Christmas season to be done, especially the commercialized part of it. This year... not so much. I found myself singing carols before Thanksgiving (something I make a rule of not doing) and I haven't stopped yet. I'm enjoying the lights and the cheer and everything. We still haven't put up our tree, but I think that's happening this weekend. The Christmas concert is this weekend, the culmination of months of handbell practice. I decided a while ago what my presents would be, so I don't have to worry about that. I still don't like the whole presents vibe... gift giving is not my love language.  What to get, will they like it, what if they don't, what should I ask for, what if there's nothing I want, pretending I like it when I really don't... ugh. And that's self-centered in a way, but it's also not. I still give gifts. I would simply be okay if Christmas were less about boxes under the tree and more about family and Christ.  But! Back on topic! Christmas will be here before I know it!
     Before I know it... part of the reason I'm enjoying this season so much is because it's my kind of last. In nine months, I'll be in college. Sure, I'll come back to visit for the holidays, but there will be a different feel in the house.  This is my last year for really belonging to the traditions.  Childhood... is slipping away. Hence the hesitation in my thoughts. I've been mulling over memories the past couple weeks, pulling out old journals and family photo books, remembering the years and experiences I've gone through. I have not had a perfect life - far from it, with adoption and moving halfway around the world - but I have a had a good life, full of wonderful memories. I slowly turn the pages of the picture books, watching my documented years slip before my eyes. Even amidst pain, I have had a life of laughter and love. I have been given a perspective on life where I can know that struggles pass and contentment is possible as we suffer. And a lot of those memories are coming, not to the end, but to an end. To a beginning as well, but to an end, where my past shifts further into my past.
     I have just a few more months living in this household. A few more months of late night conversations with Teresa, a few more more months of building deep relationships with my siblings, a few more months of being part of this family's day-to-day life. I have to make the most of it. When Jonathon asks for help finding a tree or putting up lights, I need to drop what I'm doing and participate. Even when I should be studying for chemistry. What is an hour of chemistry to an hour of relationship? I want my siblings to look to me as their big sister, ready to talk to when needed, who loves them always. I want to build relationships that will last through years of both pleasant and tough times.
     So I participate whole-heartedly. I take them shopping when they need to buy gifts. I help blow tinsel on the tree. I bake chocolate peppermint cookies. I join them in singing random Christmas carols. When school starts again, I'll again be occupied by other things, but I hope I can do enough now and then to last through my leaving for college. I'll be back next year, but it'll be different. None of my siblings want me to leave.  They're all excited for me, but sorrowful, too. When I come home for any holiday, I'm going to brace myself before I knock on the door. It will be necessary.

 






  Life. Memories. Cheer. Happiness. Sorrow. Christmas. 

     Joyful Nostalgia.

Tell Me a Story

Windy colors

     My life is pretty full right now. Between school and work and college applications and ROTC applications and church and family, I don't really have much time. When I do have time, I'm probably reading or taking pictures or crocheting.  Maybe I'm just sitting, daydreaming; I don't get to do that very often. Okay, all of that to say I'm busy.  A couple days ago, I ought to have been working on an annotated bibliography for history... But I had a week left and after a really nice run through the gusting wind and gorgeously colored leaves slapping me in the face, I couldn't go inside! The colors and movement and light of fall was calling to me and making my shutter-button-finger itch.
     I grabbed my camera, didn't bother to change out of my now-sweaty running clothes, threw my fuzzy boots on, and headed outdoors. Backlighting and yellow leaves and wind blowing had given me some super nice artistic shots on their own, but as I was capturing beauty I was inspired by a story going on around me.  The treehouse, which was a huge renovation project for siblings and friends over the summer, had leaves up the slide and across the deck, the door was hanging off its hinges, and it had a look of abandonment about it.  Our swing set was swinging forlornly in the wind.  The driveway was covered in debris, untouched by bouncing basketballs and running feet.  Thus, I title this set of photos "Abandoned Summer."  It also has ties to growing up, I think...

Forlorn swingset

Look of abandonment

     I love fall, so I wanted to share some of the beauty I captured.  This set also provides a nice intro to what I actually wanted to write about today.  Stories... A week ago (maybe two?) I was driving to the bus stop and the rain drops slid down my windshield, my wipers going swish-swish-swish.  I sat at a red light, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel in time with whatever song was playing on Air 1, when it hit me: I love stories.  Whoa!  Huge revelation!  Not so much... but it truly wasn't a thought that had occurred to me before, at least in this sense.  Yes, I've always loved books with good story lines; I've been an avid reader as long as I can remember.  My love of stories extends further than that, though.  My favorite music is that which tells a story, either through words (Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera, or more contemporary music that doesn't simply repeat words over and over) or through the complexities of the music (classical or jazz).  History is one of my favorite subjects because it's just one huge story, and millions upon millions of stories contained in that one story.  I try and reveal stories through my photography.  I have a love for life because, well, life is a story to which we don't know the ending.  I love my job because I get to work with people who have had a long time to develop their stories.  Maybe one of the reasons I love photographing children is because they are an empty book with so much potential for future stories.  I think a lot of my life revolves around stories!
     God is the writer of perhaps the biggest and most important (to us) story of all - the whole of the one we're in right now.  He's totally in charge.  But He's given us free will to help write our own stories.  How am I going to shape mine?  By taking that free will and surrendering it to God.  By abandoning my own ambitions to the knowledge that God's goals are so much better than mine.  By choosing each and every moment to give it all to Him, and to make that all my best - be it in taking a  chemistry exam, warming up before singing for the children on Sunday morning, being authentic with a friend, in making breakfast for my family, in preparing for whatever future He has in store for me, in photographing His creation, or in serving the residents at the retirement home.  And in taking time to enjoy the beauty of the what He's set around me.

It Doesn't Take Too Much to Get Me Talking Photography

      It's been 5 weeks since I've written anything.  It's not as though I'm lacking ideas, I just haven't gotten around to actually writing them out beyond a couple descriptive sentences (I've made a habit of doing that because too often I don't have any ideas). Why haven't I written?  I don't know. But I keep up with this blog because I enjoy it, not because I feel obligated to. When I feel obligated without enjoyment, then it's time to move on.  As of starting this post, I'm not even 100% sure what topic I'm writing on today.  Maybe I'll just bounce around; that would pretty accurately reflect the status of my mind at the moment.  But... I think I would confuse everyone, so I won't do that.
     I think I'll talk about photography.  It's a topic that (you should have noticed) I love and will very readily talk about.  I'm still learning, and sometimes other photographers introduce topics that are completely, genuinely, honestly, truly NEW to me.  Best learning experiences ever... or at least, they have the steepest learning curve. 

Heidi, sunrisephotogh.com

      I've been truly blessed this summer by Heidi Stephens at Sunrise Photography (sunrisephotogh.com) allowing me to follow her and teaching me some of her trade.  Connections with other photographers are really important, even if those connections only started because I used to babysit her boys!  Because of some of her mentoring, I've really found a desire to improve my photography further; one of my goals is to do one portrait photo shoot each week (I have enough siblings to do so) because portraits are one of my weak points and one of the most commonly requested shoots. I may, even, in the future, throw out an offer of portraits if someone will come be my model for a little while... when my siblings start rolling their eyes at my picture taking requests. 

Watching Grandpa

     That being said, someday I want to work without posing. One of my strengths is detail work, capturing the details of a place or event, and I prefer event shoots to portrait shoots; it's always good to challenge oneself, but it's also good to work within one's strengths. So, eventually, I want to capture life as it is (see my blog post: Now and Then) - especially the hardships that society, with its short attention span, often forgets.  One of the photographers who most inspires me is John Warren, the World Vision photographer (http://blog.worldvision.org/author/jon-warren).  His photos are not only beautiful, they're meaningful!   

Another's Life

     Overall, to improve, I'm working on portraiture, on different composition and editing techniques, and on keeping my eyes open for those real life, hard, easier-to-ignore situations that must not be ignored.  Anyway, I can see photography being a huge part of my life, no matter where God leads me (I still don't know where that is, but so many people ask me that I'll probably devote a single blog post to it).  I ended up bouncing around a bit anyway (seriously, between college now, college future, job now, job future, church, photography, home life, free will vs the sovereignty of God, Anne of Green Gables, and all the other parts of my life, I'm surprised I was able to be cohesive at all), but not nearly as much as I could have been; I stayed on one topic!  And I didn't address every aspect of that topic that has occupied my mind the last couple of weeks.
     I should stick some pictures in here and publish this and be done.  It's not going to get any more cohesive through more editing.  Oh!  I've definitely appreciated all of the praise for the photos that I've posted on Facebook.  This is a collective thank you, too - I intend to go somewhere with my photography.  Okay.  Enough said.  Stop typing.