Five Ways to Break the Ice

We all have those times when we're in new places, meeting new people, and we have no clue what to say or do. Maybe you're starting in a new school this year (I'm starting at my local community college next month) going to a new church, starting a new activity with people you don't know, or just want to step out of your usual "group". Here are five tips on how to break the ice.

1. Be Comfortable with Yourself.
When you can be comfortable with yourself, it makes it easier for others to be comfortable with you. Don't be afraid to look like a fool and be quick to laugh off mistakes. People are drawn to those who are confident in their own skin.

2. Use Complements.
Complementing is one of the most effective ways to break the ice, especially when complementing something that invites further conversation. By simply commenting that you like the new person's shoes, for example, you can discover that both of you are thrift store shoppers or that you both have grandmas with good shoe taste. Even silly things in common can go a long way in being comfortable with each other. Complementing also sends a confident message that says, "I'm confident enough not to be threatened by you and your cute shoes and I don't want you to feel threatened by me."

3. Ask Questions.
When the conversation starts to drag, asking questions like "what do you do for fun?" or "where did you move from?" can pave the way for other things you have in common or learning about something new. Just be sure to stay clear of questions like "where do you live?" which can unintentionally sound a little stalkerish.

4. Be Open.
It is hard to get to know very personal people. By opening yourself up, other people will naturally open up to you. Talking about your family, your plans for the future, and the things you have experienced is inviting to others. There is a happy medium here, however. Don't burst out your entire life story the first time you meet someone, make sure there is plenty of room for the other person to talk. And getting into really personal stuff about yourself like your insecurities can get messy.

5. Speak Well of Others.
Gossiping and showing dislike of certain people by your words proves to the person you're talking to that you're not trustworthy. No one wants to be friends with someone who will complement them one minute then talk bad about them behind their back the next. People who gossip aren't fun to be around.